Saturday, November 4, 2006

To you

Amazing how alone one can feel at night in cold weather. Such a quiet day. I miss home. I miss my friends and family. Even if some of you never read this, I will say it anyway in the hope that you at least know how I feel.

Abba Father, Yahweh, Elohim, Adonai. Mighty Counsellor, Healer, Blessed Redeemer, God of miracles, my Saviour. When I'm weak, You make me strong. When I'm blind, You shine Your light on me. I could never get by living on my own ability. The day You came and found me, I was lost inside. You called me from my darkness into Your light. You give me the strength to face the day, and You give me the will to live. Let my hands always do Your will. Let my mouth always speak Your words. There is one thing that I know for sure-- it's that You love me more than I could ever know. All I am is Yours.

Mom & Dad:
Thank you for everything you've ever done for me. Thank you for bringing me into this world, thank you for putting a roof over my head, thank you for bringing me up the best way you knew how. Thank you for being there for me, even if I didn't always turn to you. Even if I never say it out loud, I love you always.

Koko Clyde:
You are the perpetual oldest brother, the infallible first-born to whom I look to for guidance as the example of a life of integrity and wisdom (and I'm not just talking computers). You are cemented in my mind as the guitarist above all others, Satch and Vai be damned. Thank you for being the voice of reason in my life when you could, and as you embark on the next stage of your life come this December, I pray with all my heart for your joy and contentment. I miss you.

Koko Cy:
I remember the days we used to bicker and fight like cats and dogs, and koko had to break us up. We've come a long way since then, and I treasure the moments and laughter and insights we share with one another. I value your advice and your impeccable fashion sense, and your say on all matters trivially important to me. I miss you and look forward to many days in your room watching our TV shows together.

Thank you for being the sister I never had, even if you never really thought of yourself that way. I'm sure you know more about me than I give you credit for. Thanks for being my encouragement when I needed it most, for the joys that I may remember that you do not.

I'm sorry I wasn't there to welcome you home, brother. I'm so eager to hear your stories about what God brought you to and through, and I can't wait to see you again and learn from you and be encouraged by you. You're my constant inspiration and my mentor beyond all others. I love you.

You know how I feel about you. I've cherished the moments and all the things I've shared with you, talked with you about, and advised you on. There's too much to say to be typed out in such a small space, but I've always felt that there are things between us that need not ever be said... We both just know them and understand them. It's that understanding that makes me feel like the brotherhood I share with you is something special. It brings me joy to see you in church and to see you loving God. Always remember that I care about you, and pray for the best for you, and I miss you.

Words can't express how I feel about you. Most people say things like, "You're the son I never had" and stuff like that. For me, you're the son I want to have. The one I worry for, hoping everyday that you'll grow into the person God wants you to be. Not a day goes by that I don't find myself wondering how you're doing and what you're up to. Look forward to seeing you again. I miss you, kid.

The first one to have ever called me "ko". I still remember that day-- You simply told me one day, "I think I'm going to call you 'ko' from now on". It still gives me that warm, fuzzy feeling, and I really miss you, my little brother. Come this December, it'll finally be official. You have no idea how much I'm looking forward to it. And go to church and YDM more often! I don't usually see much of you, and that sucks!

Joel Ang Ying Wei:
Meeheehee just had to put that there. Differentiation man! There's more than one Joel! In any case, I really miss you, cuz. You are my intellectual companion, the one who gets the jokes I do and laughs with me when everyone else is still blur. I look forward to sending you home again! And sharing more and more deep talks about important (as well as trivial) things. Love you.

It seems like only yesterday that I was waiting with your brother and Linus for you at the airport in Miri. That was a fun memory, and one I think fondly of. Seems like we hardly talk anymore, eh bro? I miss you, and I look forward to hanging with you again when I get home. Movies and Manjaro!

Believe it or not, you have special place in my heart, Ron. Even back in those early days of YDM when we were still having it in church, I always felt like you were someone special, and it always brought me joy to see you join us in YDM. All these years later, I still enjoy your company, and really love talking with you. It is my real hope that we will get closer in these years to come. I'm always here for you. It is my prayer that God will continue to reveal His great plan for you and to remind you constantly that He loves you beyond what you can comprehend. I'll see you soon, bro.

Hey bro, despite all the time we've spent with each other, I still feel it's not enough. I hope you know you can always talk to me. I do care about you, and I worry about you from time to time, especially when I notice you're bothered by something. It's my constant prayer that you will continue to hang out to God. Miss you, baby ren! Hahaha!

History, baby, that's what we've got! Me and you, the constant Bruneian mainstays! Don't even think I'm gonna let this Manchester stint take that title away from me! This? This is just a freakin' vacation away from home! I'm coming home soon, babe! Haha I miss you, ying. Make sure you take care of yourself, understand? I wanna hear stories when I come back!

Dude, I miss you. No matter what has happened (or maybe because of all that happened), you are still one of my best friends, even if circumstances don't always reflect that. 1900, baby! Gotta make sure we hang when I get back.

Hey cuz! So much to say, so little time, eh? I treasure (and miss) our hotspot-searching, bandwidth-stealing nights ahhaha. So many times I could have said more, but didn't. I'm sorry for letting our friendship slip away from what it could've been. I hope to rectify that when I come home. I miss you.

Hey T-man! I've said it so many times and I'll keep saying it-- You inspire me. We've known each other since the Sunday School days, and because of that, even though we've never been the closest friends, I still see you as one of those people I share history with. You and me, man! Church boys through and through, from day one! Your faith inspires me, as does your l33t mad guitar skills!

Hey girl! Hehe hope things are well with you. I've spent much time with you, and talked with you about many things. After everything has been said and done, I still hope you put your trust in God and won't compromise your faith. Remember, I'm here for you, like I've always been!

Hey Joss, am I still your heat-machine? Hahaha believe it or not, I miss you. It's been good seeing you grow into a fine young woman. Will see you soon, yes? Tell me more about what you've been up to!

Hey bro, it's been good getting to know you. From the first day you came to YDM, it's been good. I enjoy your company, and look forward to seeing you again soon. You're cool; don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise.

I am always in awe of you, despite your being a big meanie! Hahaha... You're totally talented and I still haven't recovered from the awe I feel at the L.I.F.E. camp logo. Totally brilliant.

Hey cuzzie wuzzie! Miss you! Hope you're doing good. You're one of my fave cousins, don't ever forget, OK? Will see you in December. We hang, yes? Love!!

I know there have been people who think you were annoying, but I never thought that. You were always one of those kids I watched growing up, and it shocked and saddened me when I heard you'd gone to Australia. I had wondered why before, but now I know it's because I never got to say goodbye properly. I've enjoyed watching you grow. I'm always here for you (even if you never need me).

Hey Kes-boy! I'm thankful for your commitment to the sunday bible study. I sometimes hope we could talk more, but things don't always go the way we hope, eh? Here's hoping that changes for the better in the years to come.

You've come a long way my friend, and I'm inspired when I see you serve God. Hope you know that He is always there for you, and so are the rest of us. I mean that.

Pandagirl! It's been great talking with you all this time. I really hope I get to hang with you more when I get back. By the way, my current MSN display pic reminds me of you haha!

My intellectual other, the only other person to my memory who has ever been able to fluster me and render me speechless. I have no qualms about admitting that you are smarter than me in more ways than one, and I treasure your perspectives and insight more than you think I do. Here's hoping and praying that God will continue to be the grace that covers you day by day.

The most supreme talent that I've ever had the honour of knowing. I'm glad to have met you and experienced your personality with all its lovable quirks. I hope to see you again soon, to listen to you, to learn from you, and to be shocked into awed silence once again by the things you can do with a keyboard.

Hey man, how are you? If anyone can be an inspiration to those around them regardless of age, it's you. Your faith constantly encourages me. Never let it burn out, bro. Always hang on to God with all your might. I pray with all I am that He will bring you to higher heights so you can see just what He wants to do for you.

Mei! Hehe thanks for the constant updates. Always know that I read and enjoy every e-mail you send me, even if I hardly ever reply. My fault, I'm actually very lazy hahaha. I read your blog from time to time, and it's cool to listen to your thoughts. Don't ever let anyone put you down because you're young, but show them the love and grace and joy and power of God in everything you do in your life, and let it be a testimony for everyone around you! 1 Timothy 4:12!

Hey niks! It's been fun getting to know you, even if that isn't saying much hehe. I sincerely hope we can get to know each other better when I get back. I love reading your blog and getting an insight into who you are and how you're doing.

Hey cuz, the first-born Keasberry of our generation! The first to have a child. And then another. Hope everything is good at home, and hope the kids are doing well. Love reading your blog.

Hehe even though we hardly really talk, I've always looked up to you, and one of my favourite times with you was during those APEC Tasek Towers nights. Fun times, good conversations. You're a role model, and I miss you.

Hey cuz! Long time no hear haha! Somehow I know God is doing great things in your life. I hope the years are good to you, and I hope we'll get closer and have more time to share things.

Bell!!! Hahah you so cool! You're my favourite person to play board games with. You and me, we click like that! We play games again soon, yes?

Steven Ling:
My friend, if there's one thing I regret, it's not getting to know you more and spending more time with you. It's always taken for granted that we'll always have time to get to know one another more, and I'm sorry that we didn't. I miss you, dude. I miss the deep conversations, I miss the silly laughs, I miss the inane questions we used to bring up. Here's hoping distance is nothing more than a word.

Yo Stan, where you at? Miss you tonnes, bro! Drop me a line now and then, would ya? Haven't heard from you in ages! I really hope you're doing good, bro. You are one of my favourite people, with all your innocence and naive exuberance. You genuinely bring a smile to my face every time. Come home soon, ok?

I miss you, dude. I hope you get back to Brunei for a visit again soon. I always love hanging with you. Don't be a stranger, OK?

Where are you, girl? Haha miss your hyperness! You always make me laugh, and I simply love spending time with you! Hope to see you soon!! Hugs!

Hey bro! Don't even see you anymore, but I miss you still. I hope to see you again soon! You and me, brah! Like this!

Bezalel! Dragging me up at 5 in the morning to go jogging. You crazy bugger! I am so looking forward to seeing you again! We'll make it a week to remember, eh? I can't wait!

J: Hey squirt, how's everything? I always fondly remember the times you come back, and always asking me to stay over. I look forward to that again. Hope I see you sooner than I think.

You've pretty much disappeared from radar, my brother. Where are you? I miss you. I hope to hear from you soon.

You inspire me, girl! Keep on blogging and showing the rest of Brunei what we Bruneians can do! English is tough? FEH!

Hey there, hot stuff! Hope you're doing well and dazzling the peeps with what you got. Miss the "moments" we share. *Wink*

Yo Fiz! Miss disturbing you and nudging you haha. I miss your wit, I miss your insight, I miss your opinions. I really do.

Hey Fie, I hope you're doing well. I love talking with you, and I hope to come back to talk with you some more hehe.

So, is TESLs hard-worker still shocking everyone with her meticulous work? Hehe hope to see you soon!

Hey babe! You doing good? You're the first TESLer I met! Haha we'll always share that, eh? Hope things are good for you! I'm here for you, yeah?

Dude, you can do more than you give yourself credit for. You inspire me in ways you have no idea about. Will see you when I get back.

Eh man, you still the coolest Bruneian I know. We hang when I get back, yes? See you soon.

Hmm... Did I forget anyone? If I did, please lemme know!

By Chester with 11 comments


aww i'd give you a huge manhug right now if i could.


What you mentioned made me smile...thanks, u lazy bum! =p

...miss u ko! =)

Cy's the first to comment! Awwww.... Shows how much he misses u that he checks yr blog regularly!

we miss u lots too.. Frankly speaking, we talk alot bout how things are different without u here! Hahaha! =)

*HUG* =)
i'm glad i get a little peek into your life once in a while through your blog. looking forward to sharing with you the amazing things God is doing in our lives too!

Lol to what chel said bt cy. So cutes. :)

I miss you heaps too cuz. You stop making me laugh! The other day i caught myself grinning because i thought of all those times you looked at me n grinned. Haha, so silly la.

Cant wait to hang out with u when we go back. We're sposed to have our cousin night still!!! Fun~~

Love you, cuz.

:D:D:D:D:D personalised message f6r Maurina! *big huggiesssss* You equally inspire me boi!

=p Awwwwww! i miss our *ehem* MOMENTS too =p

N ooh! i have a smiley frm u - *whisper* I'm d only one =)

AHAHAHA, yea,im flatterd. Must flaunt y'c.


hey ches,

glad u remembered..i miss u too and will always remember that day. Thanks for the memories and we will make more of them soon!


hey you... I'm home alreadyyyy first one I think... miss you! Hang out when you get back! *big hug* Was in ydm yesterday and let me tell you, you are GREATLY missed by all :)

yo daddy ches! haha just so happened to drop by in ur blog to see how u were doin and i found all these messages,and you actually did wrote 4 me too. man wait till u get back its my turn to bearhug you haha i've been gymin ok =p miss you too bro! hope we cud hang out more in the future and when u get back =)

-baby ren hahaha!

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